Wulffmorgenthaler!

'My wife really wants a kid, but I haven't got the energy to impregnate her womb, when all of my energy goes to being and accoutant and having lots of sex with African prostitutes.. How much for your baby?'
'I know what you're thinking. She's a model, and I'm a jelly fish. But we compliment each other perfectly! I've got no bones - she's got nothing but bones!'
'After yet another unbearably stupid move, Bernie becomes the victim of a mutiny'
'The financial crises hits every aspect of the realty market'
'Listen, lady, I don't eat bread anymore, I'm on Atkins... So how about you run home and come back with a steak or a nice plate of crispy bacon..'
'The demand for ever-funnier home videos pushes boring families to extreme measures'
'I think this relationship is going to be too complicated. You know, I'm a vegan, and you are..'

You can find more here..

Under Siege!

This little guy showed up at our doorstep yesterday afternoon. He was very attention seeking for a cat, so I said hi and made a new friend. If this was a normal cat it wouldn't be a problem, because they are usually very reserved and don't really care if you are interested in them. Now, the problem is that I'm a smoker, living in a non-smoking home. I go outside to smoke at least 4-5 times a day, and stand in the blistering cold and 'enjoy' my cigarette all by myself. So this little guy was just a nice bit of company for a cold afternoon. I checked him for ear-tattoo or collar, but he hasn't got either. Then when I was done smoking and wanted to go back inside the little fellow wanted to join me, I barely caught him before he reached the living room! Since then he has camped on our doorstep and it is hell getting in or out of the house without him trying to dodge you and slip inside! We had him inside three times last night, and when I went out to smoke he was very cuddly and climbed my jacket and ended in my arms (ups!), I am not that strong when it comes to animals, and he is just soooo cute!! (",)
This morning my dad had enough and tired to scare him off with water, and it helped for a little while. But he's just so stupid, as soon as my dad stopped spraying water on him he stopped running and came back to my dad! Very silly cat!! When we came home from town this afternoon he was nowhere to be found, and we thought he finally had gotten the point.. but no! When I was sitting here by my computer in the basement I heard a strange noise from the window, and there he is again! scratching and miaowing the against the window.. I've named him Garfield now, because he is just as annoying! The question is: Will we ever be rid of him?! (and I of course secretly want to adopt him! heheh!)

A hectic week..

I am finally home again, after a long week of work and fun! It became winter this week, it went from rainy and windy to freezing and snowing, and I love it! I'm currently staying at my parents house because of my divorce. It's really nice of them to have a 27 year old teenage in their house again, and so far it's been very easy. I try to spend half my time here and half my time with friends in Copenhagen. I don't want to be too much of a pain in the ass for either! My parents live an hour and twenty minutes by train and bus from Copenhagen. It has been a really hard transition for me, who has been used to a 10 min. bike ride! But I actually really enjoy the train ride, I can listen to music, read and knit obsessively (to Slayers 'Reign in blood'! YEAH!).. It's the bus I have a problem with!! After 7 pm it runs once and hour.. Tuesday night I spend 30 min in the blistering cold waiting for the bus. That can turn you pretty grumpy! But I guess it's only a question of timing, but timing has never been one of my strong suits!!
Anyways, Wednesday I spend my evening filling out divorce papers with my soon to be ex-husband. That was a pretty strange, uncomfortable evening, but it was also a major relief! It's been 4 weeks now since I left him, and I've had this divorce 'splitting' things evening in the back of my head constantly. I haven't been able to sleep properly because of it and it was starting to wear me down. But things went as smooth as they could. I was the one who left and made the decision, but that really doesn't make it any easier. I've had to keep pushing to get things moving and I've felt like such and ass! You don't just turn 6 years of loving and caring for someone 'off' over night. But I know it is the right thing for me, and that it what is most important. Luckily none of us want to fight over our things, I guess we are both too hurt to want to fight, and there are no parades to block with anymore!
With that settled and done I've sleep like a baby since! It's been so nice..
Thursday I want out with my friend Sanne after work and had a few drinks and stayed at her couch overnight. It's really nice staying at her and her husbands flat. They are really cool people and they treat me like I'm their kid when I'm there. I get told to remember to brush my teeth and I almost get tucked in! hahaha.. They are the sweetest and most loving people I know! I find them a blast because the both look so cool.. they have the coolest tattoos, the do the coolest things (Shes a clothes designer, he plays guitar in Pligrimz), they listen to the coolest music, they have the coolest home.. and then when you get to know them, they are so opposite to everything you think they are! Sanne loves to cook, bake and pickle and Aage spends his nights watching NBA online.. and they drink herbal the instead of beer! hahah.. They are just geeks in a really cool package!.. and I love it!
Friday night was spend home at my parents doing as little as possible, I didn't get home until 8.30 pm, been having some hectic work days in the salon.
Yesterday when I got off from work I picked up A LOT of sushi and went to my friend Louise and her husband Muffe's house. Louise is my dear friend and tattoo artist, who I don't think needs any further introduction. Her husband Muffe owns a piercing shop called Copenhagen Body Extremes and used to scare the living crap out of me (follow the link and you'll see why!).
Muffe doesn't eat sushi so he just watched while Louise and I stuffed our faces. They have this really cool house where people just drop by and hang out, so you never know who'll pop by when you are there. A guy called Lars came by later, he and Muffe was in the founding group of the original 'Youth house' (Ungdomshuset) in Copenhagen, which has now been cleared out, you can find a bit of the story here. I just love to hear the tales of the early years of Ungdomshuset, from these people who are so passionate an who have been ignored by the politicians for so many years. I didn't sympathize with they way the younger generation of Ungdomshus-users treated the whole clearing (trashing half the city!), but I still think that the house should never have been sold to those Christian-Nazis, and that Copenhagen needs a Youth house!
When Lars went home we watched 'Charlie Wilsons war' and 'No country for old men'. I really liked 'Charlie Wilsons war' even though it was with Tom Hanks who I usually hate! What carried the movie for me was yet another brilliant performance by Philip Seymore Hoffmann who is always really cool. I must admit that we all feel asleep to 'No country for old men', and that didn't make it less confusing! I will give it another shot some other time, and preferably before 2 am.
So altogether it's been a busy but really nice week.. The one approaching doesn't look like it's gonna be quiet either, but I like to keep busy. so bring it on!

Soundtrack this week (Has been a bit retro actually!):
Clutch - 'Blast Tyrant' (obsessing over 'The mob goes wild')
White Zombie - 'Astro-Creep: 2000'
Alice in Chains - 'Dirt'
Eagles of Death Metal - 'Heart on' (obsessing over 'Wannabe in LA')
Just Jack - 'Outer Marker' (obsessing over 'Snowflakes'
The Haunted - 'Versus'
Bioharzard - 'State of the world address' (Getting ready for the gig on 3. Dec.)

The toilet loves me..

During the lovely brunch (that turned into quite a few drinks!) I had with my friend Keith on Saturday, I tried to tell him this lovely Henry Rollins story.. It's definitely one of my faves (though there are many!)! I saw him with this show in Copenhagen and it was such a laugh, and he went on for 3 hours! He started out with this story but came back to 'Whap! Whap! The toilet loves me!' many times during the show! I just love Henry's spoken word shows, he's always good for an entertaining and intelligent night!
So here it goes, Henry does it sooo much better than me!.. Mainly to Keith, as thanks for listening to my endless bitching and not letting me spoil his appetite!

Working 9 to 5..

Today was my last day of holiday and I'm going back to work tomorrow.. and I can't wait!! I've had 10 days off because of the eye surgery, I didn't know how I would react to the surgery and that it would be such a quick recovery.. and you really DON'T want a hairdresser who can't see!!
I usually work 9-12 hours a day, 5 days a week. Having so much time off is not something I usually do, and especially not without travel or any plans. It has actually been a bit horrible to be honest! I like being busy and I love my job! It's a blessing to have a job that is actually also your passion and interest, so you don't really think of it as 'work'. Of course there are days where you're not as well rested, hungover, ill, fucked up, where it can be a long day, but I've found out that it's also what you make of it. If you show that you're grumpy, you get grumpy clients and co-workers.. and with just a little bit of effort, a day that could have been hell, can turn out really fun!
I have one other hairdresser and two teenage helpers in the salon. As manager it is my responsibility to make everything run smoothly and after schedule, so I have all these really cool functions I can do apart from just cutting and coloring my own clients. I can be 'mother hen' (especially with the two teens!), I can be the 'bad cop' (sometimes you just need to put your foot down!!), but I can also set the mood in the salon! With my extremely silly and bad sense off humor, it's so much fun to take a bad day and turn it into a good! I usually pick a lot on my dear assistant hairdresser, Carminda, she's half Sicilian (!), so a good way of turning her mood around is stuff like singing the godfather theme every time I pass her in the salon or tell her clients that if they don't like their haircut, they will find a horses head in their bed the next morning! That usually gets her going, and the fun and the energy start! We have a very non-P.C. tone in the salon and I love it! We get a lot of really young clients because we do crazy hair and we are located next to an alternative record shop and clothes shop (Sex Beat Records and Black no. 1, who also own the salon together!).. and I love to fuck with these teens! I still remember how it was in that age, it couldn't be underground enough, politically correct enough and so on.. Getting a kid like that in the chair and telling them your true passion is everything by Britney, and go on about how you love raw meat and fur should only come from baby seals that have been slowly clubbed to death (I hope all see the humor here!), is just SOOOO much fun!!.. and they end up loving you for it! Cos in the end, it's all about putting on a show.. and I know there are a lot of hairdressers out there who cut hair (almost.. heheh!) as well as I do! I just try to make people remember me.. So that they hopefully come back for another 'experience'!

Anyways.. Enough work! I had a pretty cozy day.. Went for a second eye check up, and everything looks fine. Then I drove with my parents to get a new coffee maker.. Cos with all the coffee being consumed after I joined the household again, the old one was getting tired!
It was beautiful weather so we drove up the north coast on the way home looking over at our nice Swedish neighbours. I just had my Ipod on 11 the whole trip, listening to Girl Talk 'Feed the Animals' that I downloaded last night (what a fun record!), L.O.C's 'Melankolia/XXX Couture' and a mix of random metal stuff: Alice in Chains, White Zombie, Tool and so on.. and I just daydreamed a bit, which is something I spend quite a fair amount of time on!
Tonight I'm cooking dinner for my parents (I'm such a good girl!) , so I better get off my ass and start preparing!

Congrats to Pilgrimz!

Last night my buddies in Pilgrimz won a 'Danish Metal Award' for best video! I love this track and the video is pretty cool too! They are an amazing and fun live band too, so go check 'em out if you have the chance!

Beauty Fiend!

Here is the amazing work that Louise 'Baby Lou' has done on my back! The first picture is my first tattoo done by a guy called Danny at a place that was called 'Tiki Louge', which is now closed (I wonder why!).. I just wanted a tattoo so badly and everyone said that Danny was really good. I later found out that Danny is only really good when he 'feels like it'! But I lived happily with it for a few years, I did have a lot of scarring on it because he had went too deep.
When I started Hairdresser On Fire I met Louise, who's parlour is just across the street from the salon. We decided to do a cover up of Danny's work, ironically Louise has actually trained Danny when he first started tattooing, so I think she feels very conscious about the bad work he has done here and there. I went to Louise with a few pointers, I wanted: Color, Humor, and something personal, preferably in a old school/new school style.. And a few weeks later Louise came back to me yelling 'Scissors, scissors!!'.. I thought she had gone insane for a bit, but really liked the idea! And we pretty much took it from there.. I have never seen a drawing or anything of the whole thing, I just trust Louise's taste completely! So far it has taken about a year and a half, with a 4 hour session each month, and there is still a lot of work to be done on it.. All the cover up parts need more color + the bottom part need to be lightened up.. and it kinda keeps growing! hahah.. And then there are all the other projects and ideas that keep coming up! Does it ever stop?!

.. and then he had to use both hands!

I would just like to share this little saying that one of my friends has come up with. I will let her remain nameless for her and mostly her poor husbands sake! (",)
Here it goes: Usually men walk around with their head under their arm, so they only have one place to put it when they have to use both hands, so no wonder it's only crap that comes out of their mouths!! heheheh..
And btw 'men' we still love you!

Music OCD!..

I have a very obsessive relationship to music.. I deliberately ruin songs for myself, because I get sooo obsessive that I can listen to the same track 100 times in a row without getting bored of it.. and then all of a sudden something else grabs my attention and another obsession starts!
Itunes is a very dangerous tool for me, because I just buy all these obsession songs, and it's so easy! If I get a song in my head and I don't have it on my Ipod, I HAVE to have it! When I get it, I listen to it over and over again until I've torn it completely apart.. It can also be a very small part of a song that I obsess about.. and I become the most annoying person to be around! If I'm listening to that song with friends or at a party I want everyone to see why this tiny little bridge part of the song is so amazing and I 'shhhh!' people! hahahah..
I also have a special relationship to lyrics, I always listen to the lyrics! And it can be the best music in the world, but if the lyrics are crap I don't like it! It usually takes me about 3-4 listens to know a lyric by heart.. and once I learn them, I never forget them! When I put on albums that I used to listen to in my teens I still know the lyrics! The annoying part of this is that I can't really turn it on and off, so if I hear pop stuff in the radio or on MTV (which is also why i try to avoid them!) I also learn the lyrics in a second.. the more catchy the song is the more quickly I know the lyrics to it!! This has often made me wonder.. If I compare my head to a computer, I am using a hell of a lot of harddisk space on saving crap stuff like Britneys greatest hits! So where is the button on me that can erase all the 'cookies'?!?!?
Anyways, I wanted to share a few songs that I'm obsessing about right now..

'Across 110th Street' by Bobby Womack -- Watched 'American Gangster' (great flick!) the other night and there it was.. I remember it from 'Jackie Brown' as well, but this time i had to have it!
It also made me buy 'Street life' by Randy Crawford, that I used to play on bass back in the day.. But what and awesome track, a great 'walking-around-town' track.. being gangsta! heheh..

'Land of Confusion' by Genesis -- I grew up with my parents listening to Genesis and Phil Collins, so it's always been kind of special to me, but I haven't heard it in ages! But I heard Disturbed's cover and wanted to hear the original version again, and it's really cool, and the quality of the recording compared to how old it is is amazing! It's almost as old as me.. heheh!

'Let's go' by Ministry -- The last sucker is an amazing album, and I love this track! I am soo making my dad an dreadlock Al Jourgensen wig for xmas! (",) I just feel like breaking something when I listen to this track!!

'The Artillery' by Pilgrimz -- Up and coming danish hardcore darlings.. When I first heard them I thought 'god, his vocals will get sooo annoying after a few listens!', but the opposite happened! They just got cooler.. I find myself waiting for the end of the song where he sings 'Send in a bit of my rock, send in a bit of my roll.. SEND IN A BIT OF MY METAL MOTHERFUCKER!'.. lurve that part!! When I hear vocals like that I wanna be a guy and be able to scream in the same way! I wanna be part of a 'stodder-kor' as we call it in danish!!

'Chemicals' by Scars on Broadway -- I find this song hilarious! Making a song that is so catchy that it could be a # 1 hit, with lyrics that are so explicit is just excellent! The lyrics is on the border of being 'Bad News'! It's such a good party and dancing song!

'#%!@ Mig Nu' by LOC -- Another Dane.. This time in danish as well! I just find his whole 'Melankolia/XXX Couture' album awesome! It's hip hop without all the 'I'm just soo cool and have loads of money' crap, but still with alot of feelings, inspired by the 7 deadly sins. The music is so good, a mix between conventional hip hop and trip hop... and apart from that I find the guy extremely sexy.. but that really has nothing to do with his music! hahah..

'Writer's Block' by Just Jack -- Yet another awesome album 'Overtones'! I think I've been through most of the tracks obsessively over the last 3-4 months, and 'Writer's Block' is my current fave! Love his British accent, and the way that it's hip hop a bit like The Streets, just more 'organic'.

'Handlebars' by Flobots -- It remind me of the stuff i listened to the the 90ies... and I love the way the lyric goes from innocent to world domination! I think it's time for some political music in the mainstream again!

'The Pot' by Tool -- I adore Tool, I already have masturbating frontrow date with a friend of mine for the next time they play in Copenhagen!! heheh!! I love the way that their albums seem like one big symphony that is meant to be heard from start to finish, but 'The Pot' is just too good a track not pick out!

Norman Rockwell Revisited..

My wonderful tattoo artist, Louise 'Baby Lou' Rimpler and I did this tribute to a classic Norman Rockwell painting called 'The Tattooist'.. It's gonna be the new flyers for her tattoo parlour, and since it's a girls place, we wanted to show that girls can be sailors too! (",)
We also did this very silly one.. heheh.. It was definetly my alter 'trucker' ego coming out! We did like 80 takes of it, and they were all good! As soon as she drew those tacky tattoos on me and I put on that outfit I was transformed!

When I grow up I want to marry..

My soon to be ex-husband always thought I would run off with a rock star, well, he's kinda right! It is a pretty close race between Vim Fuego and Den Dennis but I think I have to go with Den! I know Den is the quiet type, but I'm sure he is a tiger between the sheets! (",) I think the only problem in our relationship would be that I was no longer the one with the biggest hair!..
xoxo
Mrs Dennis

Beam me up scotty..

I had laser eye surgery this Tuesday.. I can already say that it's probably the best money I ever spend on ANYTHING! (Even shoes can't compete here!).. I have been wearing glasses or contacts since I was about 11 years old. I had roughly around -3 on each eye + a pretty complicated astigmatism.. To people who don't wear glasses I can explain it like I could only focus to about 20 cm from my nose! I had on many occasions when I've seen doctors gotten surgery recommended, but it's always really scary when it's your eyes, and I wasn't sure if the technology was developed enough to take the risk!..
Last autumn I finally made the decision to have it done, and started asking around to find the best place with the most experience. That place was unfortunately also the most expensive! But I decided that it wasn't a place where I wouldn't be petty about money..
After a trillion of checks and poking with strange things in my eyes, I finally had the surgery.. It was a pretty strange experience! Felt like I was in 'A clockwork orange' for 30 min, just without the Beethoven! hahah! You only get relaxing eye drops and aesthetics.. So you see, you feel, you smell, while they poke and nuke your eyes!.. when they were done it was hazy, but I could already see!! It's pretty fucking amazing!! My parents drove me home afterwards and nursed me.. I got a sleeping pill and went straight to sleep when I got home. Woke up about 2 hours after feeling like shit.. I can only compare it to 'tattoo fever', when you've been under the needle for to long and your body gives you this fever like reaction. My poor mom tried to help me and comfort me, and I went back to sleep again. 2 hours more sleep and I felt GREAT!! My vision has been pretty close to perfect since.. I had a control check yesterday and I now have +0.25 on each eye and the astigmatism is all gone!
So now I have to wear sunglasses outside for up to 3 months and drip my eyes with 'fake tears'.. It's good that I LURVE sunglasses and the 'Rockstar-Amy-Winehouse-hungover' look really suits me! heheh..
All I can say to anyone considering having this done is: DO IT!! It's such a gift to give yourself.. I know you don't think about it when you have a perfect vision, but waking up in the morning, opening your eyes and being able to see is GREAT!!

Sooo.. How does one get started on this!?

Well, I've been thinking about starting a blog for a while.. So much is happening in my life, and so many changes are coming, that I thought it would be a good idea to get a bit of it out somehow! I see blogs as open diaries.. So you do censor a bit, but you still have a chance to get the things 'out there'.. And I must admit that keeping a diary for myself has never been quite interesting enough for me! When I think back to my teens (Ugh!) I emailed with a lot of people and gave them the lowdown on what went on in my everyday life.. and I wrote these really cool concert reviews/diaries that everyone seemed to love! I recently found some of them when I cleaned up my old closet at my parents house.. What a laugh! It's fun to see your life through your teenage eyes again.. Everything was SOOO dramatic and SOOO complicated!! Compared to the things you deal with now, it's nothing!.. One of my favorite quotes has always been: 'When I was 15, my dad was so stupid! He has become so much smarter since!' heheh..

Is it normal to feel very full of yourself when you start writing a blog?! heheh.. 'Hey, look at me, I'm SOOO interesting that I have to write page up and down about myself and how cool I am!!'.. I hope it passes with time..